do you ever just really want a salad?
one time after going out for the night i got back to my dorm room and it was like 4 am and I was still really drunk and I spent half an hour making this huge elaborate salad and i took a picture of it and printed it out and hung it in my room
did that fucker just jump on water is this fucking cat jesus
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood …"
im waiting for the day i can use this as a reaction image and confuse everyone for a good 5-30 seconds before they get it
Quick and simple lifehacks.
I had a dream last night that I worked at McDonalds and I was behind the counter when this guy dressed in a tuxedo (with white dickie and tie) was snapping his fingers for a server. I went I over and he asked to see our “darkest red” and I knew he was talking about wine so I said “sir, this is McDonalds. The darkest red we have here is ketchup” and he had me pour him a glass of ketchup and he drank it while looking me directly in the eye.
remember when Cosmo didn’t tell Mama Cosma he married Wanda so when he went to see her he told her he was out getting milk for the past 10,000 years